This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
