Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
not ubering you a puppy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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