I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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