she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
