your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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