we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
