There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
