Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
