i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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