Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
