So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
