It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
