The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
