Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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