she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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