You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
