I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
