HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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