I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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