Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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