This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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