We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
