arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
