Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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