something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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