i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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