I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
