i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
