FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
