Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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