I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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