i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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