New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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