Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
