one might say we're banned from that church
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
