Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
