Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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