I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize