I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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