Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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