But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
