The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
