Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I want her autograph on my taint
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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