Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
