Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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