so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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