Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
