omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
