Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
