did you get engaged???
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
