Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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